APH: Ameri-who?

Chars: UK, Canada, US
Genre: Comedy

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England brought the white ceramic teacup to his lips and took in a satisfying sip of warm tea as Canada finally got to the point of his visit.

"So," he started quietly, stirring two sugar cubes into his own tea. "About the Governor General..." he paused, unsure if the words soon to follow would sound too harsh. Still, he needed to continue. He took the small spoon out from the cup and gently placed it on the saucer, his eyes still watching as the still swirling tea calmed down.

England eyed the shy Canada across the table as he set down his cup on the saucer. Another stall. "Yes? What about her?"

"Well, I just thought that..." Canada finally looked up to meet England's gaze. "I mean, now..I'm old enough to-" Canada stopped suddenly as the front door in the other room burst open, catching both nation's attentions.

"HEY ENGLAND!!" a voice, too familiar to them both, came from down the corridor.

England sighed in frustration at the annoyance while Canada simply chuckled shyly as a bright-eyed America entered the room.

"HEY! What's up!? Huh?" America glanced at the tea set on the table and laughed. "Why are you always drinking tea, huh, England? It's like, every time I visit you, you're drinking tea. Every time you go to a restaurant, you're drinking tea. Every time you come over, you want tea. What's wrong with yo-"

"Who are you?" A straight-faced England said, arms crossed.

America was caught off-guard and, by that simple question, he was silenced for a few seconds, frozen in time with his mouth open. How can this be? Everyone knew who he was!

Canada stayed quiet and watched, stifling a laugh at America's utter confusion at what was going on.

"Didja put something weird in your tea or something?" America said, with a smirk. "Ha! I knew it! I knew no one would drink something that bad all the time if there wasn't something special in it." He put out his hand to England, gesturing slyly. "C'mon, give me the drugs."

England watched him but didn't move, his stern expression never wavering. "I'll ask you one more time," he said in monotone. "Who are you?"

Again, America was silenced with his face locked in surprised confusion.

Canada let a small chuckle slip by before getting a hold of himself again. America shot a glance at his brother, who quickly looked away and to his tea, hiding his grin behind a hand.

"You!" America pointed to Canada as he finally realized what was going on. "Canada put you up to this didn't he!?" He exclaimed, looking back at England.

"What?" England said, standing up suddenly, much to the shock of America. England took a step to close the gap between him and America, his thick eyebrows furrowed in the centre of his forehead. "How dare you accuse my son of something like that! Get out of my house, whoever you are!" He said, pointing to the front door from where America came. "Guards!" He called out.

Two men in red uniforms came forth and stood by England.

"Wait! What!? Wait! Wait!" America flustered. "England, you nutjob! It's me! America!" he yelled, pounding a fist on his chest.

"You're not America!" England shot back. "You're not even wearing a flag on your head!"

America was more confused than ever. Canada couldn't help it anymore and simply openly started to laugh at the whole situation.

"Escort him off the property," England said to the guards.

"What!?" America still couldn't believe what was going on as the guards placed their white-gloved hands on his arms and started to drag him away. "Get your hands off of me!" He said, flailing his arms wildly at a failed attempt to free himself. "I'll get you back!!" He yelled as the guards pulled him out of the room. "You too, Canada! I'll...I'll team up with Quebec and bring you down! I know more French than you think!"

Canada continued to chuckle to himself, watching the guards push him out the door.  

As the door closed on him, America yelled out, "¡Yo olvidado mi oso polar en La Isla!"

Hearing the click of the lock, England sighed and returned to his seat.

Canada looked to him but said nothing. Canada and England raised their tea cups at the same time and drank silently.

"You know, that was America," Canada said in a half-whisper.

"Yes, I know," England answered with his eyes closed.

They sat there, enjoying their tea before Canada decided to try again with his plea. "So, uh..." Canada started. "About the Governor General..."